A bit like the ‘My husband does not contribute financially.’ post


I read the post below and thought …well, this is me!
I have recently started a relationship with a man who has had to retire through injury and is living on disability. He has the ability to work part time around his disability and has said that he wants to do this, but instead he spends his days doing things that keep him busy but bring in no money. I have given him time to see if he is going to be able to contribute finanically the amount of money it would take for us to move in together with our children as I am not going to be supporting two families on my own. Major boundary. Not. Doing. That. I’m also not going to try to get people to do what they don’t want to do and judge the way they live their lives. I’ve helped him out as much as I am willing to do and given him clear signals that he needs to switch into earning mode and either spend his days creating a job or finding a job if he is serious about the relationship. Instead he focusses on the relationship as though that were a job and Monday after Monday finds him doing other things other than working. He has basically lost that drive that says ‘I need a job – end of story’ and I can’t relate to him living so close to poverty while not actively trying to change his circumstances. He is a fantastically kind and easy to be around person which has made this very hard because I know I will be sad to let him go but I know but I am happy with my boundary on this one. I think at this point I am just stalling on telling him. I know I can handle it but it will be painful.