Adult Siblings party all night


Hi Brooke, I’m on vacation with my family (siblings and their families) all sharing the same house. I did a lot of thought work preparing for the vacation. Our first night I went to bed around 1am the other siblings stayed up til 7am drinking and partying loudly. I wanted to get some sleep, feel well and enjoy the daytime. Hanging out with them gets boring because they are really quite drunk usually and I have a protocol of 1 wine per night. After 2am I asked them to lower the volume a couple of times. I’ve tried talking with my sister but her response is basically to get over it. I got no sleep at all and my kids also got woken often and feel horrible. I did thoughtwork around sounds being neutral, other adults get to be who they are, I can allow the frustration and tiredness, love them as they are, create my own joy etc but I still feel like the victim. This happens most times we get together. I want to spend time with my siblings and cousins but I don’t want this dynamic anymore – staying up until 4 or 5am feels at the cost of my family’s wellbeing, I don’t want it. Is this an appropriate case for boundary setting? I am thinking of the boundary “if you keep us awake past 2am we will not stay with you overnight again” – but they will for sure keep being who they are so perhaps I should just decide never to stay over in the same house again. Is there any other work I can do? We are on vacation here for 5 more days so I will for sure have opportunities to practice. Thank you.