Hi Brooke,
Since my divorce a few years back I haven’t revisited the past much in my mind, in fact I have just stayed with my eyes looking forward and not revisiting the marriage that was very difficult. This has put me on a good path of becoming healthier, more positive overall and more motivated. Part of this has been following you and your podcast and applying things. I have lost and kept off 30 pounds. I eat exceptionally healthy now and don’t drink. I exercise regularly and I enjoy it. I have begun to become more productive at work and I am starting to address my finances. I seldom lose patience with my kids and when I do lose my temper it’s for less than 10 mins and i am working on that. I can sometimes see that I have no problems at all they are only in my mind. Created by my thoughts / feelings. However recently I have started to reflect back on my life before and I feel a lot of shame about how I spent my time. I was so unproductive at work I barely kept jobs. it was literally years of procrastination and stressing out and wasting time as a result. I was terribly unhappy in my marriage to a controlling distant man and it was marked by on and offline affairs a fact which I have hidden from myself. I wasted so much money and time. It’s hard to look back and just not feel a total sense of shame and despair for how I have spent my adult life. I feel like I am hiding from the truth of my life as it was. I am just sitting with this and working it through. So my question is – do you have any advice on how to process a lot of things that you regret. I know that you have been through that with the cult thing which was a finite period of years. but when I look at how I have been for the majority of my adult life I feel ashamed – it wasn’t just a phase. This was years and years of hiding and pretending I wasn’t wasting time or sneaking around. I’m kind of shocked now looking back at how much time was involved and how much deception of myself and others. I am working models on different aspects of it but in a way I don’t want to rush through this I actually want to process it. Thanks so much !