Afraid Of Dying (when X Is Solved)

Hi Brooke, I knie this sounds weird. But I come to this thought again and again with my models and maybe you have an intentional altrrnative I simply cannot find: I realise I sabotage myself: Thosr last 15 pounds Just not happening. Harvesting the success I planted. Difficult. In my models I find the t: ‘when this (x) is REALLY resolved, there won’t be anything important left to di and I’ll die. Of course I know this is completely irrational and silly and absolutely untrue, all the intentional thoughts I come up with, don’t work – it’s like I cannot believe them (I’ve even tried ‘so what, better died with x resolved than not’). What can I do with this? Thanks so much!