Allowing an emotion vs allowing a circumstance

I’ve been doing work on resistance this week and practicing working on allowing what is. When I feel a ‘negative’ emotion like anger, frustration, resentment etc, I’m now telling myself that the emotion is ok, feel my way through it and allow it to leave when it is ready. It’s been uncomfortable but effective. I’m running into some problems, however, when I ask myself ‘what circumstance am I resisting?’. I know that suffering happens when we resist reality (for example I feel disappointment when I think my husband shouldn’t be drinking when the reality is that he is) and when I can see what circumstance I’m resisting, I find that I can let go of the emotion and be where I am. The issue I’m having is that when I ask myself ‘what circumstance am I resisting’, I shortcut feeling the negative emotion and it disappears. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t know if by asking myself what circumstance am I resisting, am I using that to then resist feeling the original negative emotion (disappointment) or am I actually allowing because I’m seeing life as it is? I definitely feel better when I do it, but that makes me suspicious that I’m using the question to buffer the emotion. I don’t think I am, but then I think I’m just tricking myself. As you can see, I’m in a bit of a loop here. Your thoughts here would be greatly appreciated.