Battle with a cleaning lady


I am having a hell of a time with a situation and would love support. I am struggling with a situation around having someone clean my house, it’s about more than that I am sure.. but find myself stuck in thoughts. I am in a dynamic with my husband where my thoughts are I am unappreciated and I have to do everyhitng around the house- the circumstances are that he works full time and I work 7.5 hours a week. We have three kids, 9, 12 and 14. They all have chores each week. My husband helps with many things I ask him to do, but does not initiate any food shopping, cleaning or cooking. I finally decided to have someone help clean to free up my capacity to take care of other things that matter to me. The cleaner does not clean as well as I want her to, and although she appears open to feedback, things have not changed much. She charges more than I want to pay, and just raised her rate to what seems a huge amt.I don’t think she is worth it. My thoughts are she should not charge that much, she should clean better, she is too big for her britches to charge that much (hummmm wonder where that might have a connection to me :)), there are not better cleaners and if I don’t use her it will be the same with every company, my husband and kids can’t clean to my satisfaction and if I have to do it myself I’ll be very resentful, there is no one to help me. Can you offer some guidance so I can get past this and gain some power. Right now I’m stuck in an internal battle with a cleaning woman who changes “too much”. Argh I’m not bringing my best self to this situation.. which is ironically my purpose this month. Ironic huh?