Buffering and illness

Hi Brooke

I was doing really well with my bingeing and hasn’t had any binges for several months. My dad became unwell over a month ago and my binges and off plan overeats have increased the last month or so as I’m choosing to buffer. I have thoughts like I can’t handle this, I don’t know how to handle this and I don’t want to handle this, which don’t serve me. I think something scary and bad is going to happen when I do a TDL on what I think is about to happen. I understand intellectually that I need to accept what is happening and life is 50:50 so this is not something I will feel good about but I don’t even know the diagnosis so it might be something treatable and curable once the doctor figures it out so I’m trying to tell myself not to worry or stress right now every time I get the urge to do that. I have this belief system which I used to and still do have but I’m working for people but I see it here as well that I need to think of the worst case scenario so I’m ready and prepared so I don’t have to feel the pain and can cope better if that comes up but then I’m choosing to feel pain right now inadvance and it’s not helping me coping right now so this is a lie I’m telling myself that this is helping as it’s actually leading to me choosing to buffer. What do you think I should do as I think it will be at least another month before we might get a diagnosis and he had more tests coming up soon so I know I will want to go to these habit thoughts then