Buffering by creating different emotions


I wish I had a chance to be on live when you did the talk on emotions without buffering, so I could ask about this. What I find that I do is create some stronger emotions to buffer other uncomfortable ones. Anger is what I tend to create to buffer from the feelings of unworthiness and then I want to eat or drink to dull the anger.

My question is kind of this … now that I’m aware of this pattern, is the next step to work on reducing the anger I’m creating? This is an example model with something that happened …

C Husband states, “Where are your keys? I need to move your car.”
T I’m so disorganized that I don’t even have an answer to give him.
F Unworthy
A Buffer by creating anger (see next model)
R I don’t solve any problem

C Feeling Unworthy
T If I wasn’t busy taking care of everything else in this house, maybe I could keep track of my freaking keys. Why the hell does he need to move my car right now anyway? We’re right in the middle of getting the kids ready for bed!
F Anger
A Yelling at husband
R Disconnection, continued disorganization

I am really finding that anytime I’m mad at someone else (and I do this at work, at home, with friends), it really has nothing to do with them and completely to do with how I’m feeling about my own imperfection.