I think I’m buffering with my PT. I want attention, approval and validation from him at times. I want his attention a lot and if I don’t get it I start making it mean something about me, that I’m not good enough or that its something bad. I think when he talks to me that I’m special, worthy and liked/lovable. I know I am seeking things outside of me ie him versus choosing to create these feelings for myself by thinking thoughts about myself. I think I’m buffering as feel good when I get attention from him but also create a lot of negative results for myself with my thoughts when I don’t or when I seek it and don’t it/think I don’t get it.
How can you create these feelings for yourself? I think he is all I have also as I’ve never had a boyfriend and no one calls and messages me as much as he does so I think he’s important also as I never had this type of relationship with a guy and it does feel good at times when he calls cause of my thoughts that he’s calling me, he likes me or he wants to talk to me. What should I do next?