Can’t find bridge thoughts

I need some help with finding bridge thoughts. My daughter went through turbulent phases of anorexia, depression and now thinks she’s transgender. Through her issues the relationship with my husband (who’s not her father) suffers. I would like to choose love for her but this thought is just not believable. Especially her being transgender gives me all kinds of thoughts, like why does she have to have every issue possible. Why me? I sacrificed all my life for her and now that? I already feel mad when I see her wearing filthy clothes and hair with the worst hair cut ever. Being mad and/or angry encourages her lying and worsens the relationship further. How do I get out of this negativity spiral? Thanks.