Can’t not binge when alone.


SCS has changed my life in more ways than I can let you know. I am forever grateful!

There is a set of thoughts I need help to change though. These thoughts keep me stuck in a binge purge cycle. And even worse they cause me to intentionally manipulate my wonderful husband so I can be alone. I purposely buy more wine than he asks me to buy hoping he will over drink and fall asleep. Or i put a tv show on that he hates so he will go upstairs and leave me to be alone.

C: I am alone (Husband asleep, at work or upstairs)
T: I am free to binge and purge now
F: Excited to get to binge
A: binge and then purge
R: continue to find ways to be alone (over serve him alcohol, turn on crummy tv show, etc)

C: I am alone
T: This is the only time I can binge and purge so I better do it now. Who knows when the next chance will be.
F: Desperate
A: Binge and then purge
R: Continue to anticipate times I will be alone and have food ready for those times

C: I am alone
T: If I am alone I can’t avoid binging and purging so I might as well get it over with so I can get to bed early
F; Frustrated (that I can’t just sit and read a book that I love)
A: Binge and then purge
R: Continue to have no confidence that i can be alone without binging and purging

How can I change these thoughts? How can I stop wasting time I could be with my husband? How can I get more time to read the books that I love?

I really appreciate your help.