Changing my "Creepy" behavior


hello
just realized that my next step to sorting things out in my life is to learn how not to react to triggers with other people.
sometimes I am very needy- “please approve of me”
sometimes I am reactive-“whaddya mean, xyz…”
sometimes I am defensive “he doesn’t think I am smart”
etc.

C-my reactiveness
T-what the other person does or says or thinks is important and I must do something NOW to soothe this or fix this, regardless of any of my long term goals (work, relationship, etc)
F-urgent need for a fix or a response
A-I get creepy behavior that does not really solve anything
R- I do not get the results I want in my life, and my focus is on the wrong things

C- behaving in creepy fashion
T-I am so embarrassed and disappointed I just did this
F-embarrassed
A-hide
R-continue to be disappointed, and then embarrassed

C- behavior
T-its ok that in the past I behaved in needy erratic fashions, I am a good and loving person, and I can redirect myself right now for new results
F-relieved
A- take steps to learn how to redirect
R-be loving and create new outcomes

C-reactive
T-I am going to self soothe when a reaction occurs because I am the best one to do it, I want to preserve my relationship and work goals, which require me to be/appear to be strong and effective; I can meet my own meeds no matter what. I don’t need to do anything here, I can just smile, its ok, I don’t really care what others think or do, I am sticking to my lane, doing my own thing, living my life to the fullest, loving myself, and ultimately loving others, too
F-patient with purpose and intention
A-I behave in a loving and intentional, powerful manner
R- I get the results I want in my life, and my focus is on the right things