I think what happened was that as a young child, discouraging/criticizing/blaming words were said to me while I was thinking about/asking for/trying to get what I want, and I think I was seeking approval in order to feel safe, so I turned this into self blame so I could maintain the approval.

C-sink with dishes
T-i want a clean sparkly sink
T-you are a slob you cant keep anything clean
T-I am to blame for a messy sink
T-i hate myself I cant do anything like i want
F-desperate, despair, give up

C-sink with dishes
T-i want a clean sparkly sink
T-you are a slob you cant keep anything clean
T-no i want a clean sparkly sink and i will give this to myself
T-I am to blame for a messy sink
T-no its just a sink and i will do this for myself because it will be clean and sparkly
T-i hate myself I cant do anything like i want
T-no i actually love myself and its just words my parents said that got morphed inot this negativity that ended up creating disappointment and despair
F-relief, excitement creeping in
T-and i get to give myself what i want and think about myself exactly as i want, not as how other people are/were talking to me
F-excitement
T-and i get to keep myself safe and joyous as much as possible
F-excited
T_and i am committed to relieving us of this painful, self-blaming negative self talk that has nothing to do with me
F-relief

C-sink with dishes
T-i want a clean sparkly sink
T-you are a slob you cant keep anything clean
T-no i want a clean sparkly sink and i will give this to myself
T-in fact this is the voice of my mean mother
T-in fact i am sade within myself and i do not need her approval
T-in fact i am safe within myself and i di not need my fathers approval
T-in fact i am safe within myself and i do not need my brothers approval
T-in fact i am safe and i am free of anyone elses hold
T-in fact i no longer need to relive thru anyone including r
T-its a sink and i will do this for myself because it will be clean and sparkly, lets do it
F-relief, excitement creeping in
A-either do it now or promise myself when i’ll do it and follow thru, learn about keeping promises to myself
R-yay, clean sparkly sink and sparkly feelings inside

I already feel freer and more relief, like it wasn’t the memories per se, but the words I said to myself based on accidentally locking them in place and coupling them to an emotion.

something like that

thanks