Coaching Call – Children


Listened to live coaching call with brooke today. Having a reaction to what I heard in last exchange. Woman said she suffered low self esteem etc from her parents yelling at her, she was coached that it wasn’t the yelling that caused low self esteem but what she made it mean. I feel like that that coaching isn’t realistic as it pertains to what young undeveloped kids make verbal abuse mean. I think as adults we have more power for how we interpret things that are said to us, but I think most people would agree that young children under the age of 10 or so largely internalize verbal “abuse”. By telling her that she had the power as a kid to interpret what was said and what the yelling meant upsets me. I’ll take that responsibility on as an adult, but I don’t think we should say that kids have the power for that interpretation. I totally agree that we can reframe our childhoods as adults – we can create a different perspective on what happened as a child, but I don’t believe that children are capable of creating own feelings by “choosing” thoughts regardless of what is said to them. Can you suggest a way to “frame” all of this that helps??