Hi Brooke – you would be so proud of me. I have been practicing coaching anyone that lets me coach them, I just needed to get out of my own way. I am coaching one of my friends that I am very open and honest about my own learning and especially around my insecurities. She is helping me to find my own value. I had splotches all over my chest and my neck and face were red and tight the morning before my session with her. She mentioned to me that in the middle of my session with her, my color came back to my face. In fact, she had me look in the mirror and it was true.
The most bizarre thing happened after the diamond call with you. Eczema is a circumstance. I am working on the statement, it happened for me. I am dealing with it and like food and still must write models around it. But it’s ok. I am taking it as a teacher more and more. It’s still hard. The eczema always felt like vanity. I never saw myself as a beautiful person – I was the beautiful person on the inside. I am also learning that I really was not so beautiful on the inside – I had judgement, insecurity, anger, suspicion, apathy, and hate. For 40 years I have been searching for the root cause of the eczema, I was trying to find what stressed me out – if you meet me, you would say I am the calmest person you know. I didn’t get it, how can I be stressed when I am so calm? I tried more and more activities to calm me.
I think I found it. I believe the idea of being calm/relaxed is not what I must work on. I think my stress comes from this idea of being beautiful inside (words my mom would use to describe me) when really was not feeling rosy and beautiful on the inside. The eczema is not how I connect with my clients, it is the negativity on inside and calm on outside. I am living in contradictory states – that is the root cause of my eczema. Now what? Phew, this was already mind blowing – I think I need to sit with this for a little bit.
I am hopeful – when I clean this up, I will be skinny and with clear skin. And a fabulous coach.
Thank you for your work.