Dad model More Questions

Hello! I posted earlier about two models regarding my dad. I understand I am choosing to feel hurt by what he said with my own thoughts. How do I not choose to feel hurt when he makes a comment? What are alternative thoughts instead? How do you not try to defend yourself in those moments? What would you do instead? I know first it takes seeing that they are just comments and the words he says I don’t have to make them mean it’s hurtful. What can I do instead? Thank you!