Last semester my 10th grade daughter got two Bs, three As, and a D. The D was in AP bio. She had a math tutor and we’re adding a Bio tutor because she wants to stay in Bio. She is studying, but often she is on her phone or procrastinating. She says she isn’t as smart as me, academics were easier for me, feels I am not proud of her. In our state, a 3.0 gets a scholarship worth about $65k. If she completes her Girl Scout gold award she can get scholarships for that. She could take courses at local college in high school for free through special program and reduce costs that way. I want her to do all or some of these. I’m somewhat driven and a go getter. I have enough money to pay for college whether she gets a scholarship or not. I am having trouble getting the model right. I know it should be about my actions/results and not hers. I don’t want her to grow up thinking she isn’t good enough or with mom issues we all have (likely too late for that). I want us to have a good relationship.
C I have daughter in high school who wants to go to college. Resources are available for her to go to college
T My feelings about me as a mom and her future life are based on what she does or doesn’t do. Money is scarce. Her happiness depends on her grades/college
F Frustrated, anxious
A Nag her, research options, hire tutors
R Worse relationship, alienation

CI have daughter in high school who wants to go to college. Resources are available for her to go to college
T She will be fine. She’s great with people. She’s a planner, creative. Our relationship is based on my thoughts. There is plenty to get her through college. Her happiness/success is based on her thoughts
F loving, peaceful, confident
A Follow her wishes, provide guidance and support, facilitate help
R Intimacy with daughter, good relationship