Dealing with regret

I’m curious your coaching on how to deal with regret. I know you say everything has happened exactly as it should have, but I still sense regret, wish I’d done things differently.
C: Raised voice at daughter
T: Another example of how I don’t manage my emotions well and this effects our relationship
F: Regret
A: Ruminate, wish I’d done differently, criticize self, promise to be different, wish I were different, feel sad about missed opportunity for closeness, concern re. her friend hearing it and judging me
R: ? I guess I could say I continue mot to manage my emotions well – but not sure if I believe that. It feels like these thoughts are trying to change my behavior

I regret a lot of my actions and thoughts around parenting and being a wife… I feel I have “ruined” many good years with wonderful kids and a good spouse because of my anxiety that things won’t go well. So not I have regret and I’m trying to find a useful relationship with that feeling . Thank you!