Doing things outside comfort zone -lp

Hi, you’ve previously coached me on hating my job and myself. My impossible goal for 2019 is to make $110k. On the VIP call just now, you mentioned not having a job that you had to really work hard at loving in order to make money. I’m for sure having to work really hard to love this job. I am up for it because I want to prove that I can transform my mind and experience here, for no one else but me. I think I just answered my own question. I was going to ask if I should find a different job where I didn’t have to do so much self-coaching. My brain is wanting to use it as an excuse not to change how I’m showing up in my job and to retreat into safety and not do the work and feel all the feels that will come up as I do it.

Another thing I heard you say was about not investing from a place of scarcity and insecurity and instead only when you understand it completely. Sometimes at work I’m given projects that I don’t really understand. I think I have to do them because I’m afraid to say I don’t understand them and I think I’m not smart enough and I believe I need to learn more. I believe if I said I don’t want to do a particular project that I’ll be fired. I understand that sometimes we need to do things we don’t want to do. I’m willing to do things I don’t want to do. That’s what adults do. Could I be doing this as punishment to myself? Do I just need to change my thoughts so that I’m in abundance about these projects that are outside of my understanding and experience or do I say no and focus on what I’m good at only or I’m not sure how to deal with this. I’m a web designer and the very nature of technology is that it changes rapidly so there’s always going to be things I don’t know or don’t have experience with yet. I do get hung up and block my growth because I get so freaked out about not knowing how to do something before doing it. I’m afraid I’ll fail if I attempt whatever it is. It’s kind of funny because looking back, I’ve done things I’ve never done before and I wouldn’t call them failures now. Sure I’ve made mistakes but it usually turns out fine. I just fix my mistakes. The worst part about it is how I’m thinking about it all and making myself feel terrible.