Drunk off protocol

Hi Brooke,

Over the weekend I drunk off protocol. Prior to event I set out my protocol for the number of drinks and planned a strategy (mainly drinking water). Being out of practice from drinking I learnt that my tolerance has decreased. I set 6 drinks as limit, but realized that by the 6th I was too drunk to be able to make decisions about sticking to protocol.

As I am writing this I realize how ridiculous it sounds…I noticed a lot of bargaining in my mind when I was coming to a number, there was constantly the thought I was going to miss out. I landed on 6 as I thought I would be at event for 7+ hours. Really I was hedging I think, have ‘fun’ and tell myself I was on protocol…

I spent the day after hung over and beating up on myself, refusing to do models. Now I am determined to benefit from this choice, so below are some models and just want to check in to ensure I have got these right.

Unintentional Models
During event
C: Event for drinking
T: I don’t want to miss out
F: Deprived
A: drink off protocol
R: I miss out on achieving goal

C: Event for drinking
T: I am pacing with water, think I have not had more than what I set out
F: Drunk
A: drink off protocol
R: I set my protocol number too high, cannot have more than 3 drinks before I am unable to make decisions about sticking to protocol

Post Event
C: Drunk off protocol
T: I have no control
F: Angry
A: Beat myself up about my behavior
R: I am out of control

C: Drunk off protocol
T: I embarrassed myself
F: Ashamed
A: Look for evidence that I embarrassed myself
R: I am embarrassed? I feel horrible and regret

C: Drunk off protocol
T: I chose to do it, so now I will chose to learn from it
F: Determined
A: Run models to better understand cause/effect
R: I am one step closer to achieving goal of not over drinking?

C: Drunk off protocol
T: 6 is too higher number for me, next time I will set lower number
F: Aware?
A: Learn from my mistake
R: I better understand how I can keep on protocol

The niggling feeling I have is that I am always bargaining with myself when it comes to setting a number. As I think I hold a belief that if I don’t drink I wont have as much fun. So maybe my model should be:

C: Drink
T: I can have fun even when I am not drinking
F: Confident
A: Don’t drink at events
R: I have fun and no regrets the next day?