Embarrassed about scheduling Abdominoplasty (excess skin removal) after losing 100 lbs


After contemplating this surgery for 7 months it was time to book the actual surgery and pay a deposit earlier this month. Since doing that 2 weeks ago I find myself having multiple negative thoughts.

C-Surgery is scheduled for March 27th
T-This surgery is self indulgent
F-Embarassed
A-Not telling anyone, not planning for the time off, and not blocking out my clinic schedule
R-It is going to be more uncomfortable and awkward when I do have to tell people at the last minute

If I change self-indulgent to “self-care” the feeling is not negative. I have really thought about it and do not judge anyone negatively that has had this surgery. Self-indulgent relates just to me. When I switch to “self-care” another set of thoughts come up one after the other with about the same A &R:

T-3 weeks off from work is really hard to arrange (F= anxious)

T-I am going to earn a lot less this year being off and I am the only income and I just bought a new house (F=scarcity)

T-If I take 3 weeks off from my physical activity I won’t be able to get back to my current level of fitness (F= Self-doubt)

T- Things are so good right now in my life after losing 100 lbs, do I really need to gamble with this elective surgery to have the skin removed?(F=fear)

T-You deserve to have that skin hanging off you after being obese for so long (F=shame)

T-If you gain the weight back this will have been a total waste? (F=self-doubt)

A part of my brain still thinks that this weight loss is due to all the THINGS that I did while losing the weight (protocol, meditation, yoga, aerobic exercise) not how I managed my mind. So do I spend the next 2 months trying to believe in self-care and change my underlying belief about self-indulgence or do I acknowledge and sit with the fear, self-doubt, and shame? If the latter, how do I get up the courage to tell people what I am planning?

Thanks,
Angie