Going around again..

I have just reached diamond status… I should be ecstatic, but instead I am beating myself up about how much time I have wasted, and that I haven’t “got it” yet.
I am diving in to the advance weight-loss curriculum, again.
My question is, when working on weight loss, should I also be working on the monthly study guide? I am floundering, and have been for a long time. My emotions are ruling the roost around here.

Thank you!