Help Please – Struggling with 2019 Goal – AMD

It’s reassuring to see so many of my fellow soon to be Double Diamonds going through similar issues with their 2019 goals. December 2018 goal setting was amazing and I’ve been looking forward to this year’s expecting the same experience, but alas, it’s all different now. Because I have the 2018 goal unmet.

2018 – Get to 132 Lbs, publish 3 books, earn $50g on books, keep my day job. (That was my goal)

2018- Actual results – Gained 15 lbs (now 170), published 2 books, started a publishing business, net loss on the business for the year, but over 10,000 copies downloaded. Some free, some not. Hit #26 on Amazon’s top 100 free books during my last promotion. Decided in January to take coach training because I wanted to make sure I got the in-person training, got certified 12/7/2018. (No regrets!) – Kept my day job.

– Really, cannot believe how quickly I moved from starry-eyed… what if…. to just ‘Huh, wonder why I didn’t get to the top 10?’ and ‘Huh, my second book wasn’t as good as my first, worried about book 3’ and ‘I got sidetracked by coaching’ and ‘I’m struggling with weight’. And… I blew my 2018 goal. I didn’t hit any of it.

Astounding how quickly my new reality matches the way I felt and acted when I was overworking myself at my day job and fretting about gaining weight, wishing I could finish a book. It’s like I’m the old me, in an expensive, new, ill-fitting dress.

For 2019, I have these things on my plate: – Entrepreneur track to do for coaching starts 1/7. My goal is to hit whatever target gets me to attend mastermind ( $10,000 or – gulp – break even?) – I have book 3 in my romance series that NEEDS to be finished and published so I don’t lose the momentum and readers I’ve built up this year… plus, hello, it’s going to ROCK. And I need to get those 38 pounds off, or at least those darn 15 I’ve put back on.

And… day job, it’s clear that I need to get a bit more drive and focus behind my day job projects: I missed a key deadline this year and I can see I need to have much better planning and higher ownership to prevent that from happening again.

I’m not willing to let any of those go, like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar, I can’t take out a cookie because my fist is too full.

I’m afraid if I constrain myself to one goal, it would have to be – keep constricting my day job and get better at planning, and get coaching business in place this year because this is the year the training is happening. BUT… my mind is saying… you can’t do coaching and keep gaining weight, and …. you can’t just not do book 3, you’ll lose what you’ve built… and What the heck am I doing? I’m back to overworking but on a whole new level! What happened to the constraint? What happened to being here, now, with my dogs? exercising? enjoying my actual life?