Help with the R from the T: I’m a bad stepmom

Hi coaches,

Can you help me define my R in this model?

C: Husband said: Would it make my life easier if she (me) parented more? Yes.
T: I’m a bad stepmom and partner
F: guilty
A: judge myself – tell myself I should be doing more than I am; I’m not enough
R: I’m bad to myself

I realized I had this thought this morning, and I haven’t taken any action from it yet, other than to judge myself. I could see, however, that I might also argue with my husband or avoid my stepkids if I act from this T – so my R could also be: I’m bad to myself, my husband and my stepkids.