How do I hold a boundary?


Hi Brooke,

My husband has been continually over-focused on cars. As he has made more money, he has bought more and more cars. I believe we have 8 now but it may be 9.

I don’t agree with this on so many levels. Back in November he came to me wanting to buy a new car. I really didnt want to agree. But we came to a deal that he could buy it, provided he sold an existing car within 30 days and didnt buy any new cars (or car shop) for 12 months.

He agreed. We put it in writing.

He hasn’t sold the car he was supposed to sell. Hasn’t taken any steps to sell it. And he has leased 2 new cars. For the two he leased, he claims they are free bc his uncle owns a car dealership and there was some kind of fluke deal that made them free for family.

It’s not the money. It’s (1) the message that he doesnt think he needs to honor his (written) word to me, and (2) we literally dont have space for this excess. It is so annoying and inconvenient.

I’m wondering if I should focus on the good things about him and turn the other cheek. But this is so hard. I feel like accepting this is devaluing myself. Its like accepting that I dont deserve to be with someone who keeps his word, considers my feelings, values me more than a 9th car.

I could model this. But I feel like making myself OK with it is wrong. I guess I dont know how to hold a boundary here. I tried to set in writing but he didnt respect it. Now what? 😔

💓💓💓