Huuuusband (like Oprah would say it)

C: husband in the kitchen telling me not to touch the strainer he’s using it
T: I can never do anything right-
F: hurt
A: leave kitchen and think of all the ways I never do anything right
R: I don’t do anything right

C: same
T: I’ll just wait until he’s done with it- go in bedroom think of all the amazing things I do as a wife and mom
F: appreciated
A: go back into kitchen and finish dishes having fun
R: I’m amazing

So I just experienced both models- I did go in my bedroom and holy smokes I came up with a freaking long list of things that my husband doesn’t think I do right or at all.
I don’t keep up in finances, I never check the mail, I don’t discipline the kids enough, I let my hair and clothes get ragged, I sleep in too much, I never vacuum, I don’t make tasty meals, I let the kids watch too much tv. I haven’t yet learned Italian, etc

Okay so in my room telling myself this list- (and I must say I agree with every judgement he has of me. It’s true. That is me.) I don’t like the way I am- I want to change and be the wife that can look pretty and take care of the home and be organized and on top of things. But I’m not there yet and I constantly see myself falling short through his eyes. It feels terrible.

So what I did tonight was give myself all the self love and appreciation I could think of. And now I feel great. I am growing a human in my stomach with a broken foot, I took down Christmas decorations today, I read stories to my kids, I started the dishwasher, I sold the hedgehog today, and didn’t spend any money today. I’m pretty awesome and thanks for all you do awesome self!

Rinse wash and repeat?
Ultimate goal would be to be the person who does all the things I feel I don’t measure up to now in his eyes and mine.
So do I keep Appreciating myself for what I am doing now the way to get there? I’m guessing I shouldn’t be expecting him to appreciate me more when I am better at the first list- although I really really want to believe he would.
But why do I want that?
It’ll be nice- feel good to be appreciated- yes but only because my thought will change from I’m no good- to, see I’m amazing. And that thought my friend is available to me now. Boooya