I Don’t Like This Month

Hey all – I don’t like this month, didn’t like it last year either. I’d like to up my game with it. I like the idea of catching and cataloging my thoughts – throwing them into a pile and seeing what’s actually there, asking with each one of it serves, is wanted and is related to now or the past. That’s great. In practice the month’s activities lack the feeling of completion every other month has and feels unfocused. I can do a model, put “this month” in the C line, but I’m not looking to change my thought about it. I’m looking to inquire and investigate why it doesn’t work for me and what I can do about it. I’m curious on my path to upping my game with this month’s material. One thing is the downloads. I do best when I download on a specific subject rather than on anything in my head. If the download is open the thoughts that populate easily devolve to the most negative top hits that I already know about and frequently don’t even believe. It’s like my brain says “ooh, download, capture negative thoughts. Great. Ok, what’s the worst thoughts we have – is that what you want? Here you go.” Then I look at them and think- I’ve actually been having completely opposite positive thoughts on this subject. None of the positive thoughts that are spontaneously happening in my days are showing up in the downloaYou dod, just the rote old ones. Second point – I’m missing having a daily model to do. I can take care of adding that in multiple ways – choose one thought from the day’s pages and model it or continue with Sept simultaneously to keep my work moving forward. Second question is for other suggestions on incorporating a model to deepen the work of the month?