I have a coaching peer who regularly asks if I will let her practice her coaching on me. I want to keep the relationship, but her coaching me is definitely in the I Just Don’t Want To category for several reasons, one of which is I don’t enjoy the experience of being coached by her specifically. Since I know that’s just a thought, my brain keeps telling me I should just work harder to manage my mind around it.
Unintentional models:

C-R asks me to let her practice coaching me
T-If I don’t show up for her I’m a terrible person
F-fear
A-Let her coach me; lose that time–and all the time afterwards doing the thought work around it–working on my own coaching business
R-I don’t show up for myself

C-R asks me to let her practice coaching me
T-It’s only 45-90 minutes—If I don’t help out the new coaches who ask, I’m being selfish
F-shame
A-Spend that 45-90 minutes letting her coach me; use hours of mental energy before and after trying to coach myself around my thoughts about not having a positive experience
R-I am being selfish by putting that time and energy into her business instead of the business that will directly benefit my family (mine)

C-R asks me to let her practice coaching me
T-I will be punished by the Universe in the future if I don’t help—my own business won’t succeed
F-fear
A-Put the time, mental and emotional energy into her business instead of mine
R-I’m punishing myself right now and am not putting as much time into my business as it needs in order to be successful

C-R askes me to let her practice coaching me
T-If I just did a better job of managing my mind, letting her coach me would be a good investment of my time
F-shame
A-work harder to manage my mind around it, spin my wheels, beat myself up
R-Spend a HUGE amount of time doing thought work around this and don’t have that mental capacity to invest in other things

I think my most prominent thought loop is: I SHOULD do this
But I don’t want to. But I keep saying yes.
My brain is telling me I don’t even know where to start with an intentional model…

C-R asks me to let her practice coaching
T-
F-
A-Say no, give that time and mental energy to my own business
R-

My brain can’t conceive of any scenario where it’s okay for me to say no without having a “really good excuse” like extended travel, hospitalization, 40 hours-worth of actual clients (which I do not yet have).

What is the thought work here that I REALLY need to be doing that I’m MISSING?