Impossible goal as a buffer for lonely

I’m curious how to approach this. I lost my mom at 18 yrs old and prior to that didn’t process a break up very well, with those two events together I put up a wall with people because of the fear of being hurt again, feeling a loss.

It made me very independent and pursue big goals which is great. But I know underneath they have all been to avoid having to make a new connection, like friendships and romantic. I started with training for 70.3 Ironmans and a full Ironman because it gave me a good reason not to have plans on the weekends.

Now I’m noticing I do the same thing with building my business, it’s my impossible goal and has definitely challenged me and forced me to work on myself. But it’s also a familiar buffer to other areas of my life and I’m wondering how to work on that while still staying focused on my impossible goal which is: I’m capable of earning >$70K in my private practice this year

Here’s an unintentional model how it plays out

C: Weekend
T: I don’t have anyone to hang out with but I should be working on my business anyway
F: Isolated
A: procrastinate doing work, watch Netflix
R: no connection with self or others, no progress w/biz

I find having to work on my business on weekends serves me because when anyone asks what I’m up to it sounds better than saying I have no plans. I still work full time and do want to work on my business on the weekends to get more done but also want to build a community and find a partner. How should I do that while still keeping my focus on one goal like you suggest? One solution I can think of is scheduling in free time on the weekends for social things and since this month is about time management might be a good start.