In-Laws are coming

Hi Brooke,

Last year you helped me get clear on my relationship to my father-in-law. He has some values and behaviours that I don’t agree with and when it was just me and my husband it was one thing but since having kids, I have told my husband I am not comfortable with them having too much exposure to him and it was a positive conversation where we agreed on how to move forward.

We are now getting ready for our first visit with them since our new agreement was established and a few days ago, my husband received an email from his dad where the content was about how I am terrible and unwelcoming and how we have snubbed him. My husband feels like he is in the middle of something he doesn’t want to be and thinks that his Dad is trying to bully him into taking our two kids to visit them instead of coming here.

I feel bad for my husband having to deal with all of this, but at the same time I don’t take his Dad’s opinion of me too seriously (I had a Brooke moment where I said “I feel sorry for him if he doesn’t like me, because a lot of people do and most importantly I like me”) nor do I feel especially compelled to respond to any of it because it wasn’t addressed to me and it’s not my business if someone decides not to like me. In fact, he is entitled to whatever opinion he wants really.

BUT I love my husband and this whole thing is bothering him. I told him that despite his father’s thoughts and feelings his parents are still welcome to visit but no, we are not travelling to see them while our kids are so young and both of us have a lot going on at home.

I want to support my husband as he deals with this stuff because it is important to him but to be honest I dont know where to start.