Increased self-awareness plus continued resistance to taking action equals ouch

Hi, Brooke!

I’ve been in Scholars since the beginning and I love it. I plan to stay a member until I become a perfectly formed human being or until you kick me out—whichever comes first. 🙂

One interesting thing I’ve noticed is that I’ve developed amazing self-awareness through Scholars, and I want to thank you so much for that gift. But with that gift comes a shadow side: a lack of taking action on the things I want to change and, ultimately, a deep frustration over the contrast between this increased self-awareness and my continued resistance to taking massive action.

I can clearly see myself indulging in resistance, rebellion (against myself? Why, and WTF?!?), occasional self-pity, self-sabotage, negative thinking, and buffering. I am very, very hard on myself and I think that my high expectations of myself are at the root of a lot of this. I’ve listened to all of your incredible podcasts about negativity, self-sabotage, why we don’t take action, etc.—and yet I stay in this place where I’m listening to podcasts but not applying the practical lessons. And the more I have the desire without the follow-through, the more I lose trust in myself.

I’m doing private 6-week coaching (my coach is amazing!) but I’d love to also hear your thoughts on this. I have the desire, I have the tools, and I know I’m capable—so why do I continue to avoid doing the work? If this question is too general, let me know and I’ll show you a couple of my models (but—spoiler alert—they all result in me not following through on my A lines).

Thanks so much, Brooke!