Jealousy/Manual


Hi! I realize now that I am a Diamond member I need to dig deeper. Seeing some of the stuff in my brain is hard! It is hard to realize that I act like a real dick sometimes! Now that I see my brains thoughts, I must deal with this issue.
I am not sure if it is a manual or just jealousy/emotional childhood or what. When my boyfriend and his son decide to make it “guys time” without checking with me first it upsets me. We do not have him with us full time. We get him for a few hours twice a week and every other weekend. Side note, his son is 9. I am almost embarrassed to say this out loud!

C: Guys night with son
T: Boyfriends son will get used to individual time with his dad every time he is with us. Why did they not include me?
F: Pissed
A: Act like an asshole the whole night
R: Fight with my boyfriend

C: Guys night with son
T: It is nice he gets to spend individual time with his son.
F: Resolved to allowing it.
A: Do my own thing and enjoy the time alone
R: Peaceful night

I am having a hard time finding a reasonable thought and feeling. I also think he should check with me before he determines when and if it is a “guys night”. Reading this makes me feel like an asshole and I know it is ridiculous. I am having a hard time with my intentional model. Any help will be appreciated.