Managing thoughts


The other day at dinner my husband asked me “why don’t you like it when I am angry. I like being angry”

C: Husband says he likes being angry
T: I don’t like being around angry people
F: resentful
A: Avoid being around him
R: I am not around an angry person

I have been struggling with managing my thoughts around this. I do love him. I do not like being around him when he is angry.
This is also tied into my manual that states he should be happy.
I have told him in the past that when he gets angry I will leave the room because I don’t want to be around his anger.
And I do leave.
Now we don’t spend a lot of time together at home.
He tells me I don’t love him because I don’t sit with him.
I do love him.

I cannot change who he is or how he chooses to interact with the world.
I can choose who I am, how I feel and how I interact with him and the world.

C: my husband says he likes being angry
T: He shouldn’t be any other way than he is
F: accepting
A: take care of emotional well being
R: I am not angry that he is angry

What this intentional model doesn’t help me with is getting to the place where I am spending time with him and enjoying his company – which is where I really want to be in our relationship.