Model Help


I’m working through some thoughts I have about my closest friend. She hasn’t been telling me or really anyone the truth about much. She’s been going through a tough time and maybe suppressing it? I think she is a people pleaser and has lots of practice just saying what people want to hear versus the truth.

We recently had an argument (something we rarely do) and lots of her TRUE feelings & opinions came out about all sorts of stuff. She even told me about how a friend loaned her a book to read, and upon returning the book, she told the friend that she liked it. But, in reality she said she “hated it.”

I was baffled. Why would you lie about something so trivial like a book?! It seems like such a small thing to just share your opinion about. Who better to tell the truth to than your friends? We are supposed to have each others backs.

It made me spiral out a bit. How many “books” or other things has she lied to me about? In our argument, she blurted out things, I believe, that were her actually feelings. She told the truth. Instead of just going with the flow.

Here’s my model:

C: Argument with friend
T: She lied to me
F: pissed off
A: think about all the previous instances where she likely lied to me about her true feelings
R: ? prove to myself she is an inauthentic person?

IM
C: argument with friend
T: She’s doing her best. I’m thankful to now know her true feelings.
F: love
A:
R:

I know the feeling I want to feel for her in the IM is LOVE. I love her and want to choose love in this situation. I know intellectually she hasn’t lied about everything all the time. And so what if she did? I still love her. If anything, she is evolving and maybe this is a good breakthrough for her?

Can you help with the IM?
Thanks!