More follow up


Hello, I’ve posted about this a couple of times – It’s all about her. Thank you for your help so far! It’s getting easier for my brain to understand that it’s really me making this all about her with my thoughts. I put both unintentional models below:

C – Sister texted “Wow, I feel bad. You didn’t like any of my ideas for the bridal shower. Are you sure you don’t want Janelle as your maid of honor? I’m not meaning that in a snotty way either so don’t take it that way.”
T – She’s making this all about her.
F – Frustrated
A – Complain to other people about what she said
R Making it all about her

C- Sister Texted “”
T – She just wants validation from me.
F – Frustrated
A – Complain about what she texted to me to others
R – Seeking validation not to validate her?

Possible Intentional model:
C – Sister texted “”
T – My sister is feeling bad right now and that’s okay.
F – Compassion
A – Not respond to text
R – ??

I think my thinking would be different as I made this model about me. I’ve asked myself – What if I didn’t need to make her feel better unless I wanted to? What if I didn’t need to respond? I am dropping into compassion, but I catch my brain wanting to go back to not wanting to validate her. I know I could think that she was being vulnerable with me as well, but my brain also goes back to the same unintentional models. It’s been SO helpful to get coaching on this. Is there a way for me to keep backing myself out of the unintentional models? I’ve also tried thinking about it this way too – What if all sisters walked around texting the same thing my sister did? Then it would be okay. I would say to myself something like – Oh, that’s normal. Okay, well that’s okay. I don’t really need to respond. Is that moving towards a better direction? THANK YOU!!