Narcissist


I’d love any insight on my Models here. My family believe that my sister has undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Since it’s undiagnosed, I’ve treated it as a T rather than a C. I’ve struggled for a long time to see how my thoughts about her are a projection of myself, but think ‘ve had a breakthrough with this model:

My UM is:
C Sister
T She has all the symptoms of narcissit personality disorder (excessive need for admiration, lacks empathy, belittles/uses others etc)
F Mistrust
A Do not trust her. Maintain distance. Prefer children not to see her. Interact at a superficial level. Do not feel love or concern.
R I lack empathy for her, while seeing myself as superior (=narcissitic traits)

The work I’ve been doing has been to try to feel unconditional love or compassion toward her, to regard her as worthy and complete. I’m struggling with this because I still think of her as potentially harmful/dangerous. I have a belief that she’s caused a lot of harm, that I’m wary to release. She manipulates, takes, lies and steals, often effectively because she’s very charismatic.

The result I want is to experience less pain when I think about her. I want to feel less vulnerable to her. In the past I’ve done this by keeping far away from her but I’d like to be able to master my thoughts so I can have her in my life from a place of emotional adulthood.

I also want to show up as my best self and be there for her with what seems to be a mental health issue. But even when I try on thought like “she’s in pain” or “she’s suffering” I feel indifferent toward her. I totally see now that THIS is where we are the same. I struggle to have empathy for her the way she struggles to have empathy generally.

I’d really value guidance on what my work is here.