Negative thoughts

Since going back to work after maternity leave, I’ve been struggling with lots of negative thought patterns/chatter in my head constantly. Most of it are in the what-if category of creating scenarios of terrible things that could happen.

I’m not taking my current life (C) and viewing it as negative – rather – I’m in thought loops about what COULD happen in the future.

I actually hate it because I do believe you create your future with your mind – and if I’m spending my brainpower thinking about a future filled with disaster, death, loss, etc. then that is a terrible use of my time.

So here I am, conscious of my choice to think bad thoughts, part annoyed with myself, part feeling at the affect of them – meaning – I’m 3 minutes into a worst-case scenario before I even realize I’m doing it!

I catch myself and remind myself “no, we’re not doing that today.” and try to move on. Sometimes I try to remind myself much of what I’m thinking is not plausible or highly (one in a million) unlikely to happen.

But honestly, it could be just minutes before another one surfaces.

All this while I’m trying to focus on work, family, etc. — which creates an ACTION of buffering in worry and a RESULT of not being present in any of those aspects of my life.

I’ve been in the “aware” or noticing my thoughts phase for a while but really want to focus on getting past them.


Thank you