Next Thought

Hello! I’ve been shoulding on myself ALOT lately about not having a job, creating, and looking at getting a job. Today I took time to sit down and ask myself why for all the shoulds I’ve been telling myself. ALOT of the thoughts are negative such as I’m lazy, I’m wasting my time, I’ll regret the choices I’ve made, I’m not spending my time wisely, etc. The two that are coming up the most often are I’m lazy and I’m wasting my time. When I ask myself why, my brain says It’s because I’m not doing all of my shoulds. Here’s my model for both thoughts:
C- Time with no job
T- I’m lazy.
F- Shame
A – Spin in thoughts, not take action
R- Prove evidence that I’m lazy

C- Time with no job
T- I’m wasting my time.
F- Fear
A- Spin in thoughts, not take action, overwhelm myself, beat myself up
R- Prove I’m not using my time.

How do I begin to let go of these two models? Thank you!