Not communicating well

I’m wondering if I don’t communicate with my grown kids well. I feel like we have a good time when we’re together, that I’m helpful when I’m able to be, and that I have a good relationship with them. But, for example, recently I spent an afternoon with my grown son and we had a fun afternoon going to the beach, had lunch, enjoyed a nice drive – but he complained about it to the rest of the family. My daughter called me about a health issue her daughter was having, to which I said I didn’t know the answer and suggested she take her to the pediatrician. I called back later to check in on the diagnosis. But later she told me how I was no help at all, etc. I feel blindsided by these kinds of little things more and more and think – is my perspective skewed? Do I communicate poorly? It seems to be coming up more and more with them and I’m frustrated. I tend to hold back saying anything when these discrepancies happen until I blow up at them and regret it. Ugh. I’d like to not care or be frustrated by them – but the truth is – I am.