Obvious Pattern


You are many steps ahead of me… and I wanted to ask something obvious but I’m missing the obvious part…

Do you ever feel worn down?
Where you represent your beliefs and slowly Your desires and needs are eroded. And you find the situation (parenting/business partner/sister) off course?
So you discuss how it’s off course.

Do you ever feel invigorated?
Do those around you ever hear your desires and stand beside you… with eagerness?
From your family, from your business partner

Unintentional
C 10 year old daughter has meltdowns about combing her hair (tender headed)
T we can’t do this disagreement and tension anymore within the family, not debatable
F at limit
A discuss daughter consequences with husband, encourage self advocating
R husband excuses for bad behavior (needs a trim, thin out her hair, various work arounds/hacks). I state their are no excuses.

Intentional
C daughter told to comb her hair several times a day, keep it up in a pony when sleeping, condition it as needed
T she will make mistakes but she’s got this
F allowing, proud
A tell her requirements and wait in the car to avoid her confusion, anger and frustration
R she will learn to process her positive and negative emotions and learn confidence from her successes and mistakes; I will keep my thoughts aware and well thought out (not jump in the pool)

Unintentional
C I give a brief overview of success planning year end tax success with business partner 2017 and 2018
T he found no value in something serious that weighed very heavily on me and was a 2018 goal
F invalidated
A process, allow time and awareness
R business partner called to apologize about response to tax update without comment or reaction from me

Unintentional
C holiday event has me with a hostessing to do list and husband with a entertaining to do list, he gives me a double check run down
T I cannot be husbands support/validation in this, we need to divide and conquer
F human compassion, faith
A talk candidly about being overwhelmed and tell him I can’t process his to dos right now… I support you… but my mind is just taking care of business… “I trust you, you’ve got this. It’ll all come together or it won’t and that’s ok too. We are human.”
R authentic New Years Eve with friends who are family

C sister discusses our Mom’s Christmas plans with me
T she is (wisely) leaving town to avoid drama, and wants me to pick up the baton
F aware, love (proud she is leaving town)
A compassionate discussion with clear boundaries stating “that isn’t a responsibility I am ever taking over… I don’t feel a
Compulsion towards mom to fix her life. To see her on Christmas Day. These are her relationships to work out. Not yours to step in and smear me with your thoughts of obligation.”
R sister agreed, she was off base. Mom and family have a wonderful dinner the week of Christmas at a restaurant in the middle

Do you see a common pattern?

I’m not finding many invigorating situations beside hiking with my dog, alone.

What can I look at differently?
When I/we follow my intuition and beliefs, our lives are always amazing. Why do I feel a type of resistance throughout my relationships?

Is it ok that this wears me down.
Should I build a resilience to this push back?

I am the common thread, am I not. What am I bullshitting myself about, but cannot see?