Over-desire for things past

In my self-coaching recently I realized I create a lot of suffering for myself by thinking Ts that create strong desire for things past – for example, a Mom, a daughter, a home I left, Grandparents (all now passed away). The desire feels so intense and painful because it can’t be answered. This creates models that look like this:
C daughter
T I want her here
F intense desire/longing
A cry, preoccupied, loop, difficulty moving on, resist reality, withdraw, victim and scarcity mentality
R desire intensifies, pain intensifies

The T doesn’t feel optional – I just want so hard. Is my work to allow the desire to be there unanswered? I wish I could reduce the desire but I can’t see how to do that when I love and want them. Thank you.