Pattern or projection

The thought download work this month has made me see a pattern in my mind and out in the world and people around me. (CAN YOU ASSURE ME I AM NOT PROJECTING THIS OUT INTO THE WORLD?). So many of the tensions or static/resistance arises from the need of:
1. Validation
2. Listeing, affirming, understanding
3. Social Positioning
Also the inverse of these three concepts. (I went to the google.)
Also the avoidance of both the “positive” and inverse of these three concepts.

This is me trying to understand “holding space” within myself and for the people that I love. This is me sitting with a greater understanding of compassion and authenticity.

Oddly, I’m doing this work on these deep three concepts without complete comprehension. Because of how far I’ve come with self coaching and all the skills you’ve taught me… I have a “faith” floating outside what I can actually see or conceptualize.

This faith means that I know that I’m trying to understand these concepts intellectually. But in giving myself time and space to process these concepts… it will slowly sink from “my brain (intellectual) into my bones (instinct and intuition)”.

My focus is to give myself these three things. 1. Validation 2. Witness and Understanding without judgement 3. Social positioning
Within the months goal of emotional balance.

When I notice resistance to these three concepts, I delve. I try to uncover a belief lurking that may no longer be serving me.

C Mom and I spoke after Thanksgiving
T she is not approaching me with love
F aware, witness
A state a boundary and wrap up conversation with love
R place compassionate distance to protect energy

C husband and daughter had morning argument before school
T here they go again, stirring each other up, eventually one will lash out and get pissed
F aware, witness, allow
A set myself outside of it, allow them to manage their relationship
R I feel guilt as they argue and wish I could help (control)

C contractor appt effects family, he is a no show
T I did my best and kept everyone informed
F confident
A let everyone know “this is a time space continuum issue” and call contractor
R allow life to happen and know I’ll be able to resolve, who better than me

1.Is the pattern ok to be aware of… and just a social “ah ha” moment for me?
2. Am I sitting long enough with my unintentional models?

Any suggestions on where to do work?