Physical Sensations associated with feelings and deserving.


Let me just say Episode 271 is fricking amazing. I was just doing downloads on a similar thing though my writing was not as succint just before I listend to it. What I am realizing is I can name a thought, recognize the feeling and then see the result…which of course is not the result I want in a particular case. So I went back and looked at my model and I realized two things. While I can intellectually name the feeling I REALLY dont like the sensations associated with the negative feelings ( who does) – the blushing, the stomach clench, the tension in shoulders, tears or holding back tears headache etc. These sensations I really want to avoid. This avoidance of sensation is a new realization to me

so I guess…do I do a model on a feeling/sensation? is that a thing? I will be trying that. or at least working it out in my process.

My second realization was the wording I was using in my original model- I deserve to be loved, I deserve to be accepted etc. This is true in the meta sense we all deserve those things. But specifically I was using it as in –I have earned your love, I have earned your acceptance why wont you accept me? The realization I was putting it on someone else to accept me because of my work was a real eye opener.

I am not sure how to do models on these. Everything outside myself is a C. But its also my story–“I am not accepted” which is not true and I understand that intelectually but my feelings, thoughts dont always agree as they are looking for confirmation otherwise.

So do I look instead at the old message/thought that is outside the circumstance? ie why do I think I am not accepted? and skip the C line entirely? Do I do a model on myself as in why do I look for this “not being accepted” bias?

I will be actively working on this but just wanted to share these two realizations which were very mindbending and liberating for me.