Practicing for Friday

Hiya Brooke & Diamonds! Ok-so I’ve got a big family party for sons engagement on Friday. My ex’s wife (whom ex had an affair w) will be there and is helping w party. (Btw-did tons of work on that one to get to grateful that she is taking charge (vs “butting in/acting like sons mom”). So, I’m practicing feeling love and compassion-for reals-vs pretending; so am doing thought work adnosium. The result I want is to genuinely FEEL love and compassion, then the actions and results will flow. My plan is to do the work & if, when I get there, I don’t honestly feel the love yet, I will be kind to her and everyone and also myself . Being kind to myself may be staying on other side of room or not overly engaging. But my real goal/result is my own presence-which will manifest in good actions and results no matter what. I REALLY want to feel the love and really be over this once and for all. As I do this work, there are lots of thoughts that step me across the bridge to love and compassion… but not there yet. So. QUESTION: Is it just a matter of doing the work and loving myself and letting time handle the rest? Or is there a super-duper diamond secret passage to fast track all this?😜🤗 (model #2 gets me the closest to real joy and Love-but not for her)

Yuck model:
C: she will be at party
T: I don’t like her
F: disease
A: be lower version of my normal energetic self when talking w her
R: not fully engaged w life and this awesome event

Example Thoughts (same circumstance, action and result)

#1T: what she does or doesn’t do has no affect on me
F: calm, peaceful

#2T: I am going to enjoy this party and my son no matter what happens!
F: joy

#3T: my entire family is here and celebrating my son-this is Awesome!
F: joy

A: kind actions (but steer clear)
R: not fully engaged w life and this awesome event, (letting self get pulled) BUT doing the best I can for now and that’s ok

Thank you!😊

I can at that moment