So I have this story about quitting that it very painful for me, and I have been working with Pat to help rewrite this story, and the new story is starting to get some traction in my brain.
So, my old story…I quit my job, did a terrible job taking care of my infant daughter and therefore I am a complete failure. (I have learned that thoughts like these cause severe anxiety and depression, and this has lasted years.)
I’m working on my new story and it goes something like this…I quit my job and spent most of my time in bed while my daughter was an infant because I was SAVING MY LIFE. (I was diagnosed with heart failure). I am excellent at staying alive and I took excellent care of all my children by asking for and getting lots of help to care for them.
My problem is that your podcast on quitting brought up so many negative thoughts, stemming from my old story.
This single work “quit” brings up so many thoughts for me, the most poisonous of which is “failure.”
It makes me want to avoid the word. I don’t even want to listen to the podcast episode on quitting. I’m striking it from everyone’s vocabulary. Ha, ha. What a way to live…I can’t be around you if you ever use the work quit because I am making it mean I’m a failure.
T I can’t stand this word
A avoid it or avoid thinking about it…buffer
R I can’t stand myself
T My brain has been well trained to bring up negative thoughts and feelings, and that’s OK
T I can allow these feelings and I will be OK
A allow negative feelings without reacting
R I’m OK
Any other thoughts?