Roommate/Friend


Hi! Loved Modelthon #3 so much! I didn’t ask for coaching this time but took as many notes as possible. What I’ve been really trying to let go of is my people pleasing which falls in line with your teachings of constraint as well. My roommate/friend (another aspiring coach) and I started doing some vision board workshops together, she asked me to be a part of her creative team for her event next year, she invited herself to my trip to Spain, and I agreed to everything, all with this small voice telling me that it’s too much and that I didn’t really want to do all this with her.

As I took a good look at everything I want to create in my own life, weight loss, grow relationship with boyfriend, work on building coaching blog before certification next year, I realized I needed to focus and constrain. I also have a full time job. So this week we had a talk where I backed out of all of those extra things we had planned together. My people pleaser side was going nuts with anxiety and fear that I would “hurt her feelings” or that she would think I didn’t have integrity or that I’m a quitter, etc. But I did it anyway.

However, she says that I have hurt her feelings and that she thinks I’m backing out of our friendship. So the very thing I was afraid of has happened and now I’m dealing with feeling guilty and unsure of how to move forward as we still live together.

I kept thinking I should know how to do this as a Diamond but I’m struggling with if I really did the right thing or not. I think you would suggest that it’s the right thing if I like my reasons and I can’t control her feelings. And I agree. I’m still feeling guilt.
Current thinking:
C: Roommate/Friend says I’ve hurt her feelings
T: I have hurt her but I don’t know how to fix it
F: Guilty, confused
A: Avoid friend
R: Hurt friendship

New thinking?
C: Roommate/Friend says I’ve hurt her feelings
T: I did what was best for me and my future. I can’t control her feelings.
F: Confident
A: Continue showing up as myself in friendship
R: Friendship
*Need help to see what this new model could be.