Self love/being single


I have done a TDL about being single and never having had a boyfriend several times and I have thoughts like it means I’m a loser. I have beliefs I’m unlikable and unlovable. That no one cares about me. That I will always be this way, I’ll never find someone and it will never change. The longer this goes on the more it proves it.

I know I can choose to love myself but I have thoughts I don’t know how. I know intectually it’s a feeling I can create with my thoughts but I have a belief system that being loved comes from outside of you like from having a boyfriend or lots of friends making plans with or getting lots of attention from others. I’m not sure how to change this belief as it doesn’t feel real when I try to generate it internally, I believe it more when other people are involved I have thoughts that felt real and I believed that compared to when I just try to love myself because its available to me.

I know I’m generating confusion as I keep having these thoughts I don’t know what to do or how to do it. Or this doesn’t seem to be going away so maybe I should just let it be here then? As thinking the thought it should go away is creating doubt that I’m doing this right. I wanted to come up with a plan on how to change this so I wanted to ask for your help as I often quit on this as I don’t see any progress or i think there is no progress because I’m still having these thoughts. How can you monitor your progress on goal like this which is not measurable like weight loss