Self-pity/victim awareness


Hi! I have written before regarding my chronically ill parent and brother and have gotten great feedback on thoughts to use during their time of need. As medical needs are increasing for them, I find myself caught in a thought loop while they are in crisis. I can see some of it while I am in it, but mostly when it passes.

I take on this poor me attitude like the crisis is happening to me. I have needed to rearrange my life to help them but realize this is choice. I am thankful for all of the assistance I get from others but find myself reverting to emotional childhood when these medical issues come up. I have difficulty holding back tears at work, I talk about the situations to anyone that will listen, I cry in front of my daughter, and tell everyone how tired I am. I use it as an excuse to not keep up my self care but know it is more important than ever during those times. Late nights at the hospital and long weekends care giving can lend themselves to overeating and over drinking and not moving forward on my own impossible goal. I think I am justified by this situation.

I am clear now that these issues will continually come, until they don’t anymore and I will want to look back knowing I showed up as my best self. I know I am using my situation as an excuse to buffer in self-pity/victim-hood. I did listen to the podcast on self-pity and I am trying to generate a useful emotion. Today, I am looking back retrospectively on the situations and trying to gain some clarity over what I can do and think when the next situation comes around.

I know you say to always present with a solution to your problem, here is mine. I am thinking I need to come up with a medical crisis protocol? This would include a proactive meal plan laid out, housework divided, a lighter workout schedule and some back up thoughts to think. Can you help with the thoughts?