Self sabotage

Hi Brooke,
When I joined scholars last Jan I didn’t have a goal to lose weight. Despite that I watched your weight loss videos as figured wouldn’t hurt if I dropped a few, and if I am honest had got to a point in life where I accepted that I wouldn’t have the body I dreamed of.
I was 37, 168cm and 68kg. I went straight to no sugar and flour and IF, dinner through to lunch next day. Found it very easy to follow and quickly dropped 7kg. At the same time I also quit smoking something I had done for over 20yrs. I was busy at work and put little thought into the weight loss just followed your plan without fuss. I did focus on my urges for smoking which took a lot of my focus and which I honoured.

Realising it actually could be possible to have body I wanted, this years big goal was to drop down to 53kg. Since I have set that goal I have constantly eaten off protocol, and actually put on 1-2kg….I’m not working at the moment so am def buffering boredom with food. But it feels like more than that. It’s like when I didn’t put much thought I could do it, but now I really want it I seem intent of self sabotaging…
I have not been critical rather just starting each meal afresh, but wanted to check in to see if I am missing something.

I am trying to get to why I self sabotage, but can’t seem to scratch surface…