Over the last year, I’ve gotten everything I’ve ever wanted for years and years. It’s all here-I’m getting married in July! Yet over the last two months, I’ve slowly morphed into a raging, angry and irritable bitch while at the same time becoming apathetic about all I hold dear. I had pneumonia. I think I’m in perimenopause. My hormones are all over the place. I’m not myself and I’m angry about it. I’m exhausted. I don’t even want to be around myself. I want to murder all of the people.
I feel like I’m missing out on my right now because I feel so down, but I cannot seem to work myself out of this slump. There is nothing about my circumstances that should be causing negative thoughts–it seems this is all physical and hormonal. For example, my wedding:
C: I’m getting married in 4.5 months
T: Who cares
R: I don’t care about my wedding
C: New cottage
T: so much work, exhausted
F: exhausted and irritated
A: seethe about work that needs to be done and that we chose to do
R: I’m exhausted from all of the work and seething
These are circumstances that most people would choose to be happy about and for the love of God, I am trying, but my brain is acting like Debbie Downer on meth.
I would love some guidance on this, and thank you.